Couples Breakup – Why It Happens
Breaking up is hard to do…until it’s not. No one likes to see a good thing end. However, a good thing (i.e. relationship) requires a lot of hard work and patience. Sometimes, despite your frantic attempts to revive them, relationships simply take their last breath and die.
Is your relationship in trouble? Concerned things might be near the end? Read on to learn the top 10 reasons why many couples break up.
10. Infidelity
People often assume cheating is one of the primary reasons why relationships fail. Contrary to popular belief, there is only about a 6% chance of infidelity in any given year of a modern relationship (statistics based on heterosexual couples), and that number rises to 25% over the life of a relationship.
While it may not be the main cause for a relationship ending, cheating is still poisonous. Once another person enters the relationships, it is typically difficult to regain trust and stability in order to move forward.
9. Low Self-Esteem
In love relationships, self-esteem is necessary for both partners to feel valued and secure. When one partner has low self-esteem, he or she may not feel confident or secure in the relationship. Individuals with low self-esteem do not see their own worth and may stay longer in an unhealthy relationship than those with a higher sense of self-worth.
8 Bad Habits
Early on in a relationship, partners often see one another through rose-colored glasses. No matter what outsiders say, their partner is as close to perfect as one could be. He or she can do no wrong. After the honeymoon phase, bad habits become clearer. These can range from slightly bothersome traits such as leaving underwear in the floor to highly destructive traits like compulsive lying or alcohol and drug abuse.
7. Complacency
Another cause for relationship problems is complacency. One or both partners may feel like relationship is simply standing still and no longer going anywhere. This also happens after the honeymoon phase is over. At first, both partners are learning and growing and surprising one another. Over time, they fall into a rhythm. For some this rhythm is a good thing; for others it’s a sign marked “Dead End”.
6. Control Issues
An uneven distribution of power can prompt trouble in love relationships, too. This relationship problem can rear its head in a number of ways and may even go on for years before one partner decides enough is enough.
Control issues may include: one partner making all the decisions without consulting the other; manipulation; controlling the money and requiring that the other partner ask them when cash is needed; requiring that one’s partner check-in or ask for permission before going out with family or friends.
5. Conflicting Goals
Many love relationships fail to survive because the two partners are going in separate directions in their lives. Perhaps, they once shared the same life goals and those goals have since changed. For example, one partner may have made drastic changes in religious or political views, whether children are desired, or even where in the world he or she would like to live.
In a compromising relationship, the couple may be able to reach an agreement on these factors. However, depending on how rigid these goals are for both partners, it may be a warning sign for incompatibility.
4. Social Isolation
It is totally romantic to always want to spend time with your partner and never be without them. Still, love relationships require space and outside socialization to develop healthily. Relationship problems may emerge if being together has caused one or both partners to distance themselves from family and friends.
3. Abuse
Obviously, physical abuse signals an unhealthy partnership that should not continue. However, other more subtle forms of abuse such as emotional and verbal can prompt someone to want to get out. It’s important to remember that no form of abuse is ever right. If you feel unsafe in your relationship, ending it is the healthiest choice.
2. Finances
The money itself usually isn’t the reason to part ways. Instead, couples tend to break up over continuous disagreements about their finances. These run the scope of excessive spending, debt, or risk-taking activities such as gambling. Plus, extended periods of debt can wear on a romantic relationship, especially when one partner blames the other for their circumstances.
1. Poor Communication
Communication has been touted as the single most effective attribute of a successful relationship. On the other hand, it is also the biggest reason why couples break up. According to YourTango.com’s survey of mental health professionals, 65% of divorces were initiated as a result of communication problems. Furthermore, 43% of relationships failed because of an inability to resolve conflict.
Final Thoughts
Do you notice any of the issues above in your own romantic relationship? It may be a sign of trouble up ahead. If you want to work on your relationship or are thinking of breaking up, you may benefit from the assistance of a couples counselor.
While you are here, be sure to check out our top 10 reasons couples get divorced. We also encourage you to complete our relationship report card to gauge the general health of your relationship.
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