Infuse Romance into Your Relationship
By: Couples Counseling Center Staff
Are you looking to add a little romance to your relationship? Does it feel like the time is right to spice things up? Have things turned a little dull with the person you are with? If so, you are not alone. Most couples experience a case of “the same old, same old”. It’s not because the two of you are don’t love one another – it’s just that things need to be shaken up!
Relationships are inherently romantic by their very nature, especially when they begin. Even if you’re not married, the “honeymoon phase” of a new relationship is an incredibly universal experience. During those first few weeks, months or even years with your partner, it seems like you really have found it all. Both people feel as if they are endlessly in love and are constantly surprising one another with affection.
No matter how hard you try, that sense of romance does naturally die down over the course of time. In its place is a new sense of comfort unlike anything you’ve quite experienced with another person. This part of the relationship can be wonderful. The problem however, occurs when couples become too comfortable and get into a rut of doing the same old thing. If left unchecked, boredom can set in – which can ultimately lead to a breakup.
So what can you realistically do to add some romance to your love life? Is there anything practical in nature to re-energize your inner Casanova? The relationship specialists at Couples Counseling Center have explored some options and are ready to offer three tidbits of advice that you may be able to use right now.
Are you ready? Let’s jump right in!
1. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
As we previously indicated, one of the many reasons that romance tends to diminish over time has to actually do with one of the benefits of being in a long term relationship in the first place – comfort. Neither partner feels that they need to necessarily go out of their way to “impress” the other with unending displays of affection, which is actually a really good thing. However, for those who wish to add romance back into their relationship, the solution is clear – get outside of your comfort zone.
Instead of always turning “date night” into an event synonymous with “dinner and a movie,” instead try something else entirely. Book tickets to a Broadway play. Go see a music concert from a band you’ve never heard of. Do something unexpected and uncomfortable. The date doesn’t have to be expensive either. In fact, you can go on a fun date fairly cheap.
FYI: If you have historically been the person to let your mate pick what activity to do on a date, turn the tables around a bit and step up to the plate. In other words, you decide and don’t over-think it! The goal is to do something way different and amp up romance and intimacy.
2. Be Open to Communication
Another one of the reasons why romance seems to dwindle in a relationship over time isn’t necessarily because it’s entirely gone, but rather because people naturally change. Nearly everything about a person will change over the years, from the way they talk to the way they dress to the things that they enjoy.
Your favorite movie from when you were a teenager probably isn’t your favorite movie any longer – this is because you’ve naturally changed over the years. You’re a completely different person and you can count on the fact that your significant other is, too.
As a result, he or she might not find the same things romantic that they once did. The only way that you’re going to be able to recapture that romance is by talking honestly about what you are now defining “romance” as. When you get past a certain age, “candy and flowers” might not necessarily do it for you anymore. If you know what DOES do it for you, however, you need to share that information with your partner.
3. Make Time
Another part of getting older involves leading a much busier life than ever before. It’s natural – when you’re in high school or college, you actually have a lot more free time than you really think. You might have a job and a full class schedule, but your weekends are generally free and you probably go out at night during the week, too. This is a time of life when many people go out on first dates with people.
As you get older, however, things change. You don’t have the same amount of time anymore due to all of these new responsibilities. This is another one of the many reasons why romance wanes over time. As a result, you need to bring romance back into your life by just setting aside time with your partner. Even something small like bringing your mate a cup of coffee when they really need it can make a world of difference!
The idea is to create time for the person you love and demonstrate they matter. Tomorrow, what would it be like to get up 15-minutes early and make your significant other breakfast? Imagine how romantic things could be if you took 10 minutes out of your schedule to write a love letter to your mate? Use your imagination and pretty soon you will be able to identify at least a dozen ways to infuse romance back into your relationship.
Romance: Final Thoughts
Figuring out ways to become more romantic isn’t all that hard. The barrier most people face in personal relationships is falling into certain roles and engaging in robotic behavioral patterns. You can create change in your love life by making a few minor adjustments.
If you are looking for more ways to add a dash of romance to your relationship, a practical book to consider is Romance for Dummies by the famous “Dr. Ruth”. Inside, you will find page after page of meaningful and fun insight! We have recommended this book to many couples and most all of them were glad they picked up a copy.
So go ahead and get your romance on. Let those joyous sparks of love fly! Just remember to change things up from time to time. You will be glad you did and so will your mate. Thanks for visiting the Couples Counseling Center. Be sure to Like Us on Facebook or Circle Us on Google+ !
