Dating Someone Different Than Your Type
“Your type” is a term that can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. For some, the type of person that they’re attracted to might be similar to themselves. If you like certain types of books or films, you might naturally gravitate towards someone with the same interests – or at least as close as you can get. For others, a “type” is based more on physical characteristics, like the classic ideal of “tall, dark and handsome” for women. While there is something to be said for dating someone that falls into that category, there are also a number of different benefits of dating someone who is NOT your type that shouldn’t be ignored.
1. You Might Learn About Yourself
If you’re the type of person who only dates your “type,” it’s likely because you’re pretty set in your ways. However, dating outside that category may actually be a way to learn more about yourself and find someone you like at the same time. If you’re an introvert and you start dating a party animal, for example, you may find that you like socializing a lot more than you originally thought when the circumstances are right.
2. You Might Figure Out a Whole New Way to Have Fun
If you’re exclusively dating people who are in the category of “your type,” the chances are high that they’ll have similar interests to yours. As a result, you’ll likely have fun when that person is around the same way you always have. If you really like to go to movies and your boyfriend or girlfriend does too, guess what – you’ll probably continue going to a lot of movies. However, someone who is outside your own type might instead like to go to sporting events like baseball or football games. If you actually give these types of interests a try, you might find that you like them quite a bit as well. You’ll never know until you try, however, which is another benefit of dating someone who isn’t your type.
3. You’re Broadening Your Horizons
One of the major downsides of only dating someone who falls within your “type” is that you’re severely limiting the total number of people you’re willing to date. Even if you’re after the “tall, dark and handsome” type, there aren’t an unlimited number of those types of people around. If you’re having a hard time finding a girlfriend or boyfriend, why would you want to limit yourself to a pretty niche group of people? Being willing to date outside of your own set standard will dramatically increase the total number of people that you can date in the first place.
4. You’re Challenging Both Yourself and Your Expectations
If you love your “type” for that reason, the chances are high that you’re negatively judging people who fall outside that category for the same reason. You may think that you’re incapable of getting close to someone or having fun with someone if they don’t fit your exact requirements. Instead of just assuming that, dating outside your own type gives you the chance to see whether that’s true on a person by person basis. You never know – your “type” might get bigger as you challenge your expectations and give people who fall outside that historical category a shot every once and awhile.
5. It’s Making You a Better Person
If you’re the type of person who exclusively dates people who fall into a specific category, the chances are high that you’re judging people based solely on those qualities and very little else. The phrase “never judge a book by its cover” comes to mind. By only dating within a specific category of people, you’re valuing that quality above all others. This is especially bad if your “type” is based exclusively on looks or other physical properties, like if you’re only willing to date someone who is over six feet tall or will only date blondes with long hair and brown eyes.
Final Thoughts
By expanding beyond that initial type, you’re proving to yourself that you’re willing to date people based on more than just your own preconceived notions. This is particularly true if you are trying to figure out if a person you like is more than a so called “Friends with benefits”.
You’re willing to take the time to get to know people and see them for who they really are – namely, their personality and general disposition. Doing so will ultimately make you a better person because you’re not cutting ties with people you’ve never had the opportunity to spend time with yet.
If you are looking for different ways to create change in your dating life, a great book to consider entitled Dating Advice for Women: Getting the Love You Want by Cathy Wilson offers page after page of insightful pointers on attracting different types of men into your life. It is a must read for anyone who is trying to adjust their approach to romantic relationships.
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