Happy Single and Free
By: Alex DeWoskin
Have you ever taken a moment to think about all the happy single people in your life and how they don’t seem to need a relationship in order to feel complete? These are folks who go throughout their days without someone to share life’s little moments with. That’s right – people who do not seem to need that sense of “being with someone” that we’ve been taught to want since and early age.
Without someone to hold hands with, or sleep next to, or even just go to the movies with on a regular basis – they seem to be doing just fine. I’m here to tell you that the reason behind this is simple – they know something that you don’t. They know a large number of things that you don’t, actually, that allow them to still lead life to its fullest potential and enjoy everything that this world has to offer “in spite” of being single.
There are seven key secrets of happy people in particular that you’ll definitely want to learn more about. Are you ready? Let’s jump right in!
1. They’re Focusing on Themselves
One of the most important secrets to single happy people comes from the fact that they’re focusing not on others, but instead on themselves. I don’t mean this in a “brash” or “conceited” way – I mean that they’re taking the time to focus on being the best people that they possibly can, without the constant need for intervention from someone else. As a result, they get to enjoy the true happiness that goes along with knowing that they’re the best version of themselves that they can be.
2. They Don’t Play By Society’s Rules
We’ve long been taught that the secret to a happy life comes from settling down with a significant other, having a family, sharing a life, etc. The number two secret of happy single people is that they completely understand and believe in the fact that this isn’t necessarily true. Happiness doesn’t have to involve other people in that way if you don’t necessarily want it to.
3. They Enjoy Being By Themselves
Everyone has that friend that seems to be constantly busy. The one that has an impossible number of friends or acquaintances and who always seems to be hanging out with someone every night of the week. The kind of person that you need to make plans with months in advance if you want to see them at all. Happy single people are essentially the opposite of this entirely. Some people just enjoy being alone – there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, clearly.
4. They Actually Take Marriage Seriously
Another key secret of happy single people is that they don’t necessarily “hate” the idea of marriage – in fact, they tend to take it incredibly seriously. They don’t want to settle done with someone just for the sake of doing so. When the time comes to get engaged and eventually marry, they want to make absolutely sure that they’ve selected the right person to call their closest companion. It really doesn’t get much more simple than that.
5. They Enjoy Being Single
Sometimes single people are happy just because they enjoy the act of being single in the first place. They don’t want to have to discuss their plans with someone else – if they want to take in a movie or go out to dinner, they want to be able to do it without reservation. This is the type of mentality that can certainly change as a person gets older, but for right now it’s clearly working for them.
6. They’re Self Sufficient
Another important secret of single happy people stems from the fact that they’ve long since learned to get along by themselves. They don’t need someone to help maintain a home or certain aspects of their personal life. They’re well and truly self-sufficient, which essentially just boils down to the idea that “they’ve got a good thing going and they don’t want to change it right now.” This of course is completely opposite of someone who is codependent.
7. They’re Getting Companionship Needs Met Differently
Finally and most importantly, consider all of the reasons why you would want a mate in the first place. You want someone that you’re comfortable being around. You want someone that you know you can always have a good time with. You want someone who will always support you without question, no matter how many mistakes that you’ve made or how bad things truly get.
The fact that someone is single doesn’t mean that they don’t already have a person in their life that meets this description – it just isn’t necessarily a spouse. It can be a brother or sister, a best friend or some other loved one. Just because they aren’t married to the person in question doesn’t mean that the connection isn’t incredibly real. If someone already has that type of person in their life, getting married would be the farthest thing from their mind – and rightfully so.
Summing Things Up
Happy single people are a special breed. They are characteristically self-assured and confident about their abilities to meet whatever comes their way. This isn’t to say they do not want to date someone or have a special person in their life. The difference is they don’t need someone to feel fulfilled.
If you are waning to know more about the benefits of being single and how single life can often generate happiness, I would like to recommend the book, Single is Not a Curse by Tony Gaskins. Inside, you will find lots of practical insight on the entire topic of being single and why not being in a relationship with another can be a blessing in disguise.
Having a neutral, objective person in which to share your thoughts and feelings can go a long way with helping you to better understand your approach to love and romance. Maybe it is time to invest in the more important relationship of all – the one with yourself.
Thanks for visiting the Couples Counseling Center. Please Like Us on Facebook, Circle Us on Google Plus and share on Twitter!
