8 Practical Ways to Fix a Relationship Worth Trying!

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How to Fix a Relationship

By: Couples Counseling Chicago Staff

Looking for some practical suggestions on how to fix a relationship? Have you reached a placed in time with your mate where things seem kind of stale and you’re not sure what to do? No need to fret – at least not just yet.

While couples counseling and therapy may be something that is needed in the future, it doesn’t have to be the first option you and your mate reach for. In truth, there are a number of different things you can do to spark new life into a relationship that is suffering from a case of “the same old – same old”.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_raw_html]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[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]The counselors here at Couples Counseling Chicago decided to brainstorm a bit and come up with a list of 8 options you might want to try to help fix your relationship.

Some of what you will read may seem obvious. Other points, however, may give you pause for reflection. Read them all in order to absorb their deeper meaning.

Are you ready? Let’s jump right in![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_single_image image=”3303″ img_size=”medium” alignment=”center” style=”vc_box_rounded” title=”8 Tips for Fixing a Relationship”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]

1. Focus on what’s going right

When a relationship feels like it’s stuck in neutral, it is easy to focus on the minuses. If left unchecked, it can easily begin to turn into a spiral of negative thinking, causing both people start to questioning why they are with one another.

One way to remedy this is for the both of you to shift your thoughts in a way that lasers in on the positive. This means focusing on what’s right. By doing so, you are adjusting relationship lenses in a way in ways that allow the both of you to “see” new possibilities. The ultimate benefit of this tip is the empowerment of intimacy.

2. Put down the technology

One of the reasons couples fall into a rut is because they are so glued to their smart-phones and other electronic devices that they forget what it is like to be with one another.

One way to remove barriers to closeness and intimacy is to create an agreed upon rule whereby the both of you leave your phones and other gadgets in another room during “together time”. Even doing this for a few hours a night can create powerful change.

3. Watch some movies and talk about it

Traditional thinking suggests that watching a movie is a passive couples activity that doesn’t let two people interact. In many cases, that’s probably true. But did you know that when it is done in the right way, watching movies can actually create greater intimacy and closeness?

In the not too distant past, we blogged about a research study that revealed couples who watch movies together and then talk about the content afterwards reduced their chances of getting a divorce (or breaking up) by half. Be sure to check out that post!

4. Live in the here and now

This point in some ways relates to the first point about focusing on what’s going right. The difference here is that when the both of you are living in the here and now, you are letting go of nasty resentments from the days gone by.

While it is true that some things can’t be forgotten, like cheating, it is also true that a lot of things can be released. One way to help repair an ailing relationship is for the both of you to agree focus only on today through the act of mindfulness. There’s lots of practical ways to make this happen. Check out this post on how to have a mindful beach date.

5. Start saying yes

If you want to know why things feel like they aren’t going anywhere in your relationship, take a quick look at how the both of you are communicating. If the word “no” is a continual part of the dynamic, maybe it’s time to turn that into a “yes”.

When both of you are open to saying yes to one another’s requests, you allow for positive change. There’s nothing complicated about being agreeable. What’s more, “yes” infuses a sense of excitement and adventure.

6. Plan a goal together

This point may seem obvious but sometimes the most obvious things are the most powerful. In our experience, couples who just go through the motions of life find themselves quickly bored with one another. On the flipside, couples who identify and then work towards specific goals seem to have incredible staying power.

Goal setting doesn’t have to be a big deal. An example might be planning to save up for a winter get-away somewhere warm. Another example might be starting a fitness program together. Short and long term goal setting with occasional check-ins with each other on progress can do wonders for a stagnating relationship. Why not try it?

7. Supercharge your love life

One of the first areas that couples complain has gone dull in a relationship relates to sex. This is particularly true for newer lovebirds who have traditionally shared a strong physical bond.

One way to introduce something new into a familiar dynamic is to switch things up. This means stepping outside of your comfort zone a bit. Be sure to check out some of our practical ideas on this front by reading our post on how to make love to a man. The tips offered here actually can apply to either gender.

8. Be mindful of body language

Do you or your mate sometimes find yourselves communicating with one another without speaking a word? Have either of you fallen into the trap of rolling your eyes at one another? Do you make ugly faces to signify displeasure about a given situation without realizing it?

An easy way to help fix a relationship situation that seems broken is to become more aware of your body language. Try to create awareness around how you respond to your mate and pay particular attention to facial expressions. You might be surprised at how much this one helps.

Final Thoughts

If you are looking for different strategies to create greater intimacy and closeness between you and your partner, we’d like to recommend a powerful book to you. Specifically, we’re talking about The 5 Languages of Love by Gary Chapman.

.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_raw_html]JTNDY2VudGVyJTNFJTNDYSUyMHJlbCUzRCUyMm5vZm9sbG93JTIyJTIwaHJlZiUzRCUyMmh0dHAlM0ElMkYlMkZ3d3cuYW1hem9uLmNvbSUyRmdwJTJGcHJvZHVjdCUyRjA4MDI0MTI3MFglMkZyZWYlM0Rhc19saV90bCUzRmllJTNEVVRGOCUyNmNhbXAlM0QxNzg5JTI2Y3JlYXRpdmUlM0Q5MzI1JTI2Y3JlYXRpdmVBU0lOJTNEMDgwMjQxMjcwWCUyNmxpbmtDb2RlJTNEYXMyJTI2dGFnJTNEaHVicDBhNmFhLTIwJTI2bGlua0lkJTNEM1oyR0daQ0U3S0hJU0laSiUyMiUzRSUzQ2ltZyUyMGJvcmRlciUzRCUyMjAlMjIlMjBzcmMlM0QlMjJodHRwJTNBJTJGJTJGd3MtbmEuYW1hem9uLWFkc3lzdGVtLmNvbSUyRndpZGdldHMlMkZxJTNGX2VuY29kaW5nJTNEVVRGOCUyNkFTSU4lM0QwODAyNDEyNzBYJTI2Rm9ybWF0JTNEX1NMMjUwXyUyNklEJTNEQXNpbkltYWdlJTI2TWFya2V0UGxhY2UlM0RVUyUyNlNlcnZpY2VWZXJzaW9uJTNEMjAwNzA4MjIlMjZXUyUzRDElMjZ0YWclM0RodWJwMGE2YWEtMjAlMjIlMjAlM0UlM0MlMkZhJTNFJTNDaW1nJTIwc3JjJTNEJTIyaHR0cCUzQSUyRiUyRmlyLW5hLmFtYXpvbi1hZHN5c3RlbS5jb20lMkZlJTJGaXIlM0Z0JTNEaHVicDBhNmFhLTIwJTI2bCUzRGFzMiUyNm8lM0QxJTI2YSUzRDA4MDI0MTI3MFglMjIlMjB3aWR0aCUzRCUyMjElMjIlMjBoZWlnaHQlM0QlMjIxJTIyJTIwYm9yZGVyJTNEJTIyMCUyMiUyMGFsdCUzRCUyMiUyMiUyMHN0eWxlJTNEJTIyYm9yZGVyJTNBbm9uZSUyMCUyMWltcG9ydGFudCUzQiUyMG1hcmdpbiUzQTBweCUyMCUyMWltcG9ydGFudCUzQiUyMiUyMCUyRiUzRSUzQyUyRmNlbnRlciUzRSUwQQ==[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Inside, you will find a host of practical suggestions to help you and your mate get back into the groove. It’s also an excellent resource for couples who have found themselves in a constant state friction.

We’ve recommended this to many of our clients and feel confident in suggesting this book to you. If you have time, be sure to stop by our online bookstore for more relationship resources.

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