Divorce Counseling & Therapy Chicago

Looking for divorce counseling and therapy in Chicago, IL? Many couples seek counseling to fix their relationship and avoid a breakup or divorce.  They love one another, desire to stay together and acquire some tools to mend their relationship. 

Even if many have mixed feelings about being together, such ambivalence is secondary to their primary aim of repairing their connection.

Sometimes, however, there are deeper mixed feelings.  On these occasions, an equally important and practical use of therapy involves exploring the question, should we stay together or break-up? This specific type of therapy is called discernment counseling. 

Discernment Counseling/Therapy Chicago

Discernment is defined as “the ability to see and understand people, things, or situations clearly and intelligently.”  Discernment counseling therefore focuses on obtaining greater clarity and objectivity the state of the relationship and how to move forward. 

In some cases, this means figuring out the best way to end the relationship in a way that respects both parties and minimizes as much hurt as possible.

The importance of seeking counseling at this point is essential because couples initially approach counseling out of frustration, feeling stuck and trapped in unhelpful or destructive ways of communicating.  It might even be explosive.

Reducing the Pain of Breaking Up/Divorce

Obviously if the decision to end things is explosive or bitter, it can result in longer term effects.  Sometimes people experience depression or anxiety. Others may develop compulsive behaviors to medicate the pain. 

If the parting is as amicable as possible, the emotional fallout is far less.  People can mourn and move forward in healthier, less stressful ways.

Should we Divorce?

Counseling provides a safe space to discern together what to do next, and ask questions from a more objective place. Here are some common self-reflection questions:

• Is this mostly meeting my needs or not? 
• Am I becoming too resentful to return? 
• Are we good for each other? 
• Are we too different that the distance can’t be bridged? 
• Are we too close, and have we lost ourselves in the relationship?
• Can we still create intimacy between us? 
• Is this healthy for me? Is it healthy for my children?

The key word is objective.  As emotions become amplified, objectivity provides a necessary counterbalance.  And it becomes ever more helpful to look at things from a practical perspective. Below is a video that may help you with figuring out the answer to the question: When is it time to get a divorce?

Benefits to Chicago Divorce Counseling

Divorce counseling in Chicago offers a multitude of benefits for couples going through the challenging process of ending their marriage. As a couples therapist in this vibrant city, I’ve observed the significant advantages that divorce counseling can provide, including:

Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution:

• Divorce counseling equips couples with tools and strategies to engage in productive conversations amidst heightened emotions.
• It helps couples express feelings, needs, and concerns in a constructive manner, facilitating agreements on issues like child custody and asset division.
• Promotes closure and mutual understanding between the parties involved.

Emotional and Psychological Support:

• Divorce often brings overwhelming emotions like grief, anger, guilt, and anxiety. Counseling provides a safe space to process these feelings.
• Therapists offer coping strategies and support to help individuals navigate the emotional challenges associated with divorce.
• In a fast-paced city like Chicago, where self-care can be elusive, this emotional support is crucial.

Co-Parenting Effectively:

• Divorce counseling assists couples with children in creating a cooperative and child-centered parenting plan.
• Chicago’s dispersed neighborhoods and suburbs make effective co-parenting even more vital for the well-being of the children.
• Therapists help reduce the negative impact of divorce on children and foster a healthier family dynamic.

In conclusion, divorce counseling is an essential resource for couples in Chicago undergoing divorce. It provides the necessary tools for communication, emotional healing, and successful co-parenting, enabling individuals and families to move forward in a more positive and productive manner.

In a city celebrated for its diversity and high-paced lifestyle, divorce counseling offers a crucial space for reflection, growth, and healing during one of life’s most challenging transitions.

Discernment Counseling Essentials

Trusting the therapist to be objective and allow space for each of you to talk.

• Identifying your feelings and with the therapist’s help learning how to communicate them effectively.
• Actively listening to one another.
• Taking a step back to look at what you’re contributing to the relationship in both positive and negative ways.
• Willing to receive direct feedback from the therapist.
• Being as honest with yourself and the other as you possibly can.

All of this requires courage, determination and focus. If positive change is to happen however, breaking free of old patterns needs to be part of the dynamic. 

What To Expect After Divorce Therapy?

After completing therapy, individuals can expect a range of outcomes and experiences, depending on the nature of their therapy, their goals, and their personal circumstances. Here are some common things to expect after therapy:

• Improved Mental Health: Expect reduced symptoms of mental health conditions and improved emotional well-being.
• Enhanced Coping Skills: You’ll have a toolkit of strategies to manage stress, emotions, and life’s challenges.
• Increased Self-Awareness: Gain a deeper understanding of your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and past experiences.
• Improved Relationships: Experience better communication, healthier boundaries, and more fulfilling connections with others.
• Better Problem-Solving Skills: Feel more confident in your ability to tackle problems and make decisions.
• Increased Resilience: Develop emotional resilience and adaptability for facing future challenges.
• Reduced Dependency on Therapy: Empowerment to manage life independently, potentially needing fewer or shorter-term therapy sessions.
• Lifestyle Changes: Adopt positive habits, set and achieve goals, or pursue new interests and hobbies.
• Continued Self-Care: Emphasize ongoing self-care routines and strategies to maintain mental and emotional well-being.
• Possible Relapses: Acknowledge that setbacks or relapses can occur, but you now have the skills to address them effectively.
• Periodic Check-Ins: Some individuals choose periodic follow-up sessions with their therapist to maintain progress and address new concerns.

Summary Chicago Divorce Therapy

The decision to end a relationship can be heart-wrenching and difficult. Let’s face it – divorce sucks. This is particularly true if there are children involved or when a couple shares the same set of friends and acquaintances.

If you are thinking of breaking up (i.e. splitting or divorce) we encourage you to consider discernment counseling. One way of assessing the general health of your relationship is to complete our relationship report card.

Riding the difficult emotional roller coaster of pain and anger doesn’t have to be destructive. In figuring out the answer to the question, should we break-up, couples counseling can help soften hard landings.

Call us today at 773-598-7797 or send us a confidential note through our contact form.