Long Distance Relationships
Long distance relationships can be challenging. This is particularly true if you or the person you love is on an extended assignment, such as serving in the military or working for a company overseas.
Many people erroneously believe that long distance relationships are doomed for failure. It’s a common misconception. In truth, you can enjoy a relationship with another from afar and make the dynamic work! We are not just saying this to make you feel good. It’s been documented in research!
Long Distance Relationships
So how can couples stay close if the partners are unable to engage in many of the customary behaviors that go along with a traditional “face to face” relationship? How can affection be shown from afar? What elements of proximal relationships can be injected into the long distance dynamic?
This brief article will explore the topic of long distance relationships and offer 7 concrete tips for you to consider as part of your current situation. It is important to state here that not all of the tips may apply because of unique particulars. Think of these suggestions as a kind of “food for thought” that you can review and perhaps weave into your love life.
Are you ready? Let’s jump right in!
1. Routinely check in with one another
In a face to face relationship, you have the ability to greet your mate with a “good morning”. The same holds true for end of day activities, such giving a good night kiss. In a long distance relationship, you will need to re-create this dynamic electronically.
Simple ways to do this include text-messaging or email. The point is to try to check-in with one another on a regular basis and in a way that closely follows what you might be doing if the person were sitting right next to you.
2. Hang out together
Given today’s technology, it is relatively easy for the both of you to virtually “be” together and engage in an activity, like watching a TV show. Many couples involved in long distance relationships configure their smart-phones or tablets with apps like Skype to visually “see” one another.
The nice thing about this option is that Skype is a real-time activity. Facetime works much the same way if you are an Apple lover. You can even bring your partner out with you on a virtual date with your phone. Yes – people do it!
3. Follow one another on social media
Tagging one another in photos, “Liking” one another’s posts and uploading pics to Instagram can be an excellent way to stay in touch with the person you love who is afar. It demonstrates that you care about the person and that you are interested in what they are doing.
4. Write an old fashioned love letter
While electronic communication certainly has the benefit of speed, there’s just something special about getting an old fashioned “love letter”. Think of writing down how you feel about your mate on pen and paper and sending them what you have scribbled out in an envelope.
You can even be creative and make a card and decorate it. Use the person’s Zodiac sign and tell your lover their love horoscope … with you in it! In long distance relationships, the little stuff counts! Lick that stamp with love!
5. Set realistic expectations
This one may be a difficult one to read but it’s highly important. If you are in a long distance relationship, chances are one of the primacy concerns you have relates to trust. Specifically, we are talking about worries over cheating. This is a very legitimate issue for many. What can help in this area is for you and your mate to be honest about physical expectations in the long distance relationship.
Some couples choose monogamy. Others, however, have arrived at a place where they recognize they need to have open arrangement. Regardless of what the two of you decide, it is vital that a conversation takes place. Otherwise, the lack of dialogue will end up being the elephant in the room that fuels anxiety and mistrust.
6. Engage in electronic intimacy
If you read between the lines here, you know exactly what is being suggested under this tip. There is nothing wrong with using your phone to talk to your partner in an intimate way.
There are other conduits to intimacy that you can electronically use to “be” with the person you love. There’s no need for us to go into detail here. Use your imagination a bit and get ready to step outside of your comfort zone. You might actually like it!
7. Plan for the future
Another excellent way to make your long distance relationship work is to remember that the current dynamic is not forever. In other words, understand that eventually, you and the person you love will at some point be physically united.
The trick here is having realistic expectations about how and when this will happen. If both of you are planning for the day where you can both be in a face to face relationship, it helps to chase away some of the fear, uncertainty and doubt that can happen when people love one another from afar.
Long Distance Relationships Work Resource
In addition to the tips suggested here, we highly encourage you to pick up a copy of the book entitled, The Long Distance Relationship Survival Guide. Inside, you will find lots of practical advice on how you can successfully navigate many of the unique challenges that impact couples who love at a distance.
We have placed a copy of the book cover below. Simply click on it to be taken to Amazon’s website.
Final Thoughts
Long distance relationships often get a bad rap. This is primarily due to misinformation being spread on the part of traditionalists, coupled with cultural biases against “the norm.”
The reality is that millions of people are a part of a relationship from a distance right now. More importantly, they have figured out how to do it in a way that works for their situation. Talk to some of your friends who serve in our armed forces or who might travel in order to make a living. It may not be their ideal dynamic – but they make it work.
FYI: Some couples find it helpful to engage in couples counseling as a way of setting boundaries and strengthening relational bonds. If you are wondering how therapy can happen in the context of a long distance relationship – be sure to check out our page on this topic.
Thanks for taking the time to read this post.
