[vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]

Marriage and Couples Counselors Chicago

Individuals listing themselves as Marriage Counselors in the Chicago area are no doubt plentiful but are they really good at what they do? The reality is that offering effective marriage therapy, couples counseling and general relationship requires specialized training and expert skills.

More important, the person doing the marriage counseling needs to understand what it is like to actually be in a relationship with another person as opposed to some psychological construct. [/vc_column_text][vc_single_image image=”480″ alignment=”center” style=”vc_box_rounded” border_color=”grey” img_link_target=”_self” img_size=”large”][vc_column_text]

Marriage Counselors Chicago Skills

The ability to offer results oriented marriage counseling necessarily means having certain gifts, abilities and skills. After years of observing couples progress in Chicago, we believe there are five important skills that are “musts” for the marriage counselor to possess.

These include:[/vc_column_text][vc_raw_html]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[/vc_raw_html][vc_column_text]

1. Ability to connect

An effective marriage counselor will have the ability to “connect” with clients while also maintaining objectivity. Additionally, the marriage counselor should be able to avoid engaging in what is commonly referred to as triangulation.

In the world of marriage therapy and couples counseling, triangulation is a 25 cent term used to describe situations where a relationship counselor takes side with one party during the counseling session. If a marriage counselor does partake (usually unintentionally) in triangulation, the net effect can be one part feeling “ganged up on” during the session.

2. Direct Feedback

Another important skill set that marriage counselors need to have is the ability to offer direct feedback to both people in the relationship. This however is easier said than done. Depending upon the marriage counselor’s psychological approach, direct communication will vary. Marriage therapists who use eclectic modalities, such as a combination of cognitive behavioral approaches with Adlerian principles often do well directness.

3. Here and Now

Yet another marriage and couples counseling skill that’s important is for the marriage counselor to stay in the here and now. The reason for this is because during couples counseling, it is not uncommon for past hurts to be brought up by one or both parties in the relationship.

While it is important to explore this material, it is important to recognize one can easily get “lost” in the past, which results in extremely slow progress during the counseling sessions. Using here and now techniques for marriage counselors is vital to the outcome of the relationship counseling sessions.

4. Goal Oriented

An important skill for marriage counselors to have, particularly in counseling sessions connected to premarital counseling, counseling for cheating or discernment counseling is the ability to help clients identify specific goals and then move about the business of coaching clients towards goal attainment. Many people seek out marriage counseling in Chicago and elsewhere because they want change in their relationships and are unhappy with the current direction.

The identification of concrete goals by the three parties in the counseling office (therapist, both people in relationship) is key to the ultimate outcome. It is not enough to just identify goals however. Specific, tactile steps must be part of the reparative process. This requires special skills on the part of the marriage counselor in order to make this happen.

5. Accurate Empathy

A final skill on the part of the marriage counselor is the ability to engage in what is commonly referred to as accurate empathy. This term essentially means that the marriage counselor or relationship counselor is able to effectively communicate that they understand what one or both people may be feeling in a given moment. If a couples counselor is not able to portray accurate empathy and do so in a way that does not triangulate, the participants in the couples counseling process will likely get little from the experience. Validating feelings is a necessary, therapeutic and needed function of couples counseling. [/vc_column_text][vc_single_image image=”485″ alignment=”center” border_color=”grey” img_link_target=”_self” img_size=”large”][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]

Chicago Marriage Counselors

Finding a marriage counselor in Chicago is not difficult however, finding a good marriage counselor is a different thing entirely. The five specialized skills previously mentioned should be universally possessed by any relationship counselor offering therapy.

And it goes without saying that the therapist must be culturally competent, meaning they are aware of different cultural norms and comfortable working with different populations, such as GLBT couples.

We encourage people seeking marriage counseling in Chicago to take time when speaking with a given helping professional and assess their approach. As part of the discussion, it is important to listen carefully to what the therapist is saying to make sure they possesses one of the five skills discussed here. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_raw_html]JTNDY2VudGVyJTNFJTNDc2NyaXB0JTIwYXN5bmMlMjBzcmMlM0QlMjIlMkYlMkZwYWdlYWQyLmdvb2dsZXN5bmRpY2F0aW9uLmNvbSUyRnBhZ2VhZCUyRmpzJTJGYWRzYnlnb29nbGUuanMlMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0UlMEElM0MlMjEtLSUyMENUQSUyMC0tJTNFJTBBJTNDaW5zJTIwY2xhc3MlM0QlMjJhZHNieWdvb2dsZSUyMiUwQSUyMCUyMCUyMCUyMCUyMHN0eWxlJTNEJTIyZGlzcGxheSUzQWlubGluZS1ibG9jayUzQndpZHRoJTNBMzM2cHglM0JoZWlnaHQlM0EyODBweCUyMiUwQSUyMCUyMCUyMCUyMCUyMGRhdGEtYWQtY2xpZW50JTNEJTIyY2EtcHViLTAwNzU3MjI5OTgyMTg0MjIlMjIlMEElMjAlMjAlMjAlMjAlMjBkYXRhLWFkLXNsb3QlM0QlMjI3MTQxOTI4ODM4JTIyJTNFJTNDJTJGaW5zJTNFJTBBJTNDc2NyaXB0JTNFJTBBJTI4YWRzYnlnb29nbGUlMjAlM0QlMjB3aW5kb3cuYWRzYnlnb29nbGUlMjAlN0MlN0MlMjAlNUIlNUQlMjkucHVzaCUyOCU3QiU3RCUyOSUzQiUwQSUzQyUyRnNjcmlwdCUzRSUzQyUyRmNlbnRlciUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][vc_column_text]

What to Expect in Marriage Counseling

Believe it or not, the counseling process begins the moment you or your significant other speaks to a Chicago Marriage Counselor. It is those first few moments of communication that a “snapshot” of the relationship is taken. After a brief consultation with the couples counselor, a face to face appointment is usually made.

First Session

When you come into the counseling office, the following will likely take place.

Historical data gathered on the relationship.
Identification of keys reasons counseling is happening.
A moment for each person to share specifics on what they hope to achieve from the marriage counseling process.

The first session is almost always filled with emotion as each person tries to communicate the reasons that drove them to seek out counseling in the first place. It is also one of the first steps towards healing. First sessions often require an appointment that is beyond 60 minutes. Commonly, 75 minutes is the norm. It is also not uncommon for homework to be given to each person as a way of continuing the therapeutic process beyond the counseling office. [/vc_column_text][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/1″][vc_single_image image=”490″ alignment=”center” style=”vc_box_rounded” border_color=”grey” img_link_target=”_self” img_size=”large”][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]

After First Session

Follow up sessions after that first appointment should focus on processing feelings and movement towards jointly agreed upon goals. There will likely be moments one or both people in the relationship want to argue about a previously inflicted wound or discuss pent up feelings that have been withheld for a variety of reasons.

An effective marriage therapist will allow some of this to take place however, there will come a moment when the couples counselor will cut off the discussion in order to focus on issues related to the here and now. If the couples therapist is unable to disable continued fights, the marriage counselor will act as nothing more than a neutral referee. This might be helpful in the very short-term however, for the long term this kind of approach is not an effective strategy towards meaningful, substantive change. Good marriage counselors in Chicago know this.

Marriage Counselors who are able to help direct, guide and focus clients on the here and now and future often find the best success with clients. Follow up sessions after the first visit should paralleled with this in mind.

Summary

Finding a good marriage counselor in Chicago requires work on the part of the consumer. At Couples Therapy Associates, our marriage, couples and relationship counselors regularly partake in the latest training related to working with couples. All of them possess the skills mentioned here and all of them are experts at what they do.

You have to have a passion for working with couples. As a counselor, I can tell you the work can at times be grueling (I am just keeping it real). With that shared, I can also share with you that there is nothing more satisfying than seeing a couple leave the counseling process in a better, stronger and more stable place.

If you are looking for marriage counseling in Chicago, please consider our organization. You can call us at 773-598-7797 or send us an email through our online contact form.

Like our motto says, we help couples grow. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_raw_html]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[/vc_raw_html][vc_raw_html]JTNDY2VudGVyJTNFJTNDc2NyaXB0JTIwdHlwZSUzRCUyMnRleHQlMkZqYXZhc2NyaXB0JTIyJTIwY2hhcnNldCUzRCUyMnV0Zi04JTIyJTIwc3JjJTNEJTIyaHR0cCUzQSUyRiUyRnN0YXRpYy5wb2xsZGFkZHkuY29tJTJGcCUyRjgxMTk3MDYuanMlMjIlM0UlM0MlMkZzY3JpcHQlM0UlMEElM0Nub3NjcmlwdCUzRSUzQ2ElMjBocmVmJTNEJTIyaHR0cCUzQSUyRiUyRnBvbGxkYWRkeS5jb20lMkZwb2xsJTJGODExOTcwNiUyRiUyMiUzRUFyZSUyMHlvdSUyMHRoaW5raW5nJTIwb2YlMjBtYXJyaWFnZSUyMGNvdW5zZWxpbmclM0YlM0MlMkZhJTNFJTNDJTJGbm9zY3JpcHQlM0UlM0MlMkZjZW50ZXIlM0U=[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column][/vc_row]