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Cinderella’s Prince Should Have Tried On Her Shoe
By: Deb Klecha, LCPC, CADC
We have all heard the story of Cinderella…from rags to a ball gown to a lost shoe to the prince placing the lost shoe on her foot and her ultimate transformation back to a more princess-like appearance. And true to fairytale form, they “live happily ever after.” But did they really?
We don’t really know the full story of their relationship post shoe-placing right? Honestly, we probably don’t care. We wanted the happy ending and got it. But what if they struggled for years with communication, intimacy, etc.? Is there something else that they could’ve done to enhance and improve their relationship?
In all of my work as a therapist with couples and individuals on relationship issues, one central theme that seems to come up repeatedly is empathy….the ability to see things from a partner’s/spouse’s perspective. Trust and basic assumption of good intentions are key to this. If we can say, “There must be something more to this,” we are likely to ask more questions and get more important information.
Too often couples seem to get bogged down in the details of a situation or argument and lose sight of the feelings behind the issue. This prevents them from understanding the root issues which are often initially unstated. I like to call these the “between the lines” messages that partners/spouses are sending (“I’m scared,” “I feel insecure,” etc.) Many of these may, in fact, have nothing to do with the current relationship and may, instead, have more to do with unresolved issues from other relationships including family of origin. Focusing more on those and asking more open-ended questions will likely prevent or minimize arguments and open the door to greater understanding.
We will never know if Cinderella and the prince lived happily ever after. We can imagine, having been in relationships that they likely struggled in one area or another. But one thing is clear regardless. It would have benefitted their relationship if the prince had walked a mile in that shoe before placing it on her foot.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_raw_html]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[/vc_raw_html][/vc_column][/vc_row]
