Feet and Relationships
Has your boyfriend recently shared with you that he has a likes your feet? Did learning this information make you feel awkward and maybe a bit uncomfortable? If so, you are not alone. Lots of people find out at some point in their relationship that their man has an affinity for feet. It’s really not that unusual.
For many guys, the very thought of a partner’s feet can evoke powerful erotic feelings. While his attraction towards your feet may strike you as a bit odd, it is important for you to know that your man is not “sick” or somehow twisted.
At Couples Counseling Center, we like to think of ourselves as an intimacy affirming organization. In other words, we recognize that the expression of human sexuality comes in many different forms and that not everyone likes the same things. Intimacy is so much more involved than the basics of kissing. Variety, in fact, is part of our human condition. So if your boyfriend has recently told you (or showed you) how much he likes your feet, think of his disclosure as a sign of trust and closeness.
What follows are 5 common questions about foot fetishes that might help you to better understand your man and reduce some of the awkwardness that you might be feeling.
Are you ready? Let’s jump right in!
1 How many people have a foot fetish?
Getting an accurate statistic on the number of people who report having a foot fetish is difficult to pin down. Part of the challenge with placing digits next to this type of fetishism has to do with human shame. In short, many guys have a thing for feet but too afraid of being judged to admit it.
And so at the time of this post, there really are no legitimate studies that can state with relative scientific certainty the prevalence of people with foot fetishes among the general population. We do know however that for men specifically, the feet are the third most attracted to body part, next to breasts and the behind.
2. Is my man twisted because he gets turned on by feet?
This is a question many people ask upon learning that the person they are romantically attached to has a foot fetish. The simple answer is no. Think about it for a minute. Is there a particular body part that you are most attracted to?
For example, do big biceps turn you on? How about gigantic calves? Does it mean that you are “sick” because these areas of the body light your fire? Human sexuality, including what attracts us to another, isn’t so black and white. All of us have a “thing”. As a society, many of us have been inculcated to feel shame around topics related to intimacy. If this is the case for you, it might be helpful to reflect about where some of your perceptions come from on this topic.
3. Can’t you spread or catch germs with feet?
This is a common misperception. If a person’s feet are properly cleaned, there really shouldn’t be any problems. Think about it for a moment – your hands can be carriers of germs (pathogens). If you wash them properly, the risk of “catching” something is almost completely eliminated.
FYI: During outbreaks of various forms of play related infections – foot play has historically been considered a form of “safer” play.
4. My man likes my shoes. What is this all about?
Your guy’s attraction to your shoes, boots and other footwear is an extension of his foot fetish. It is a very normal part of podophilia – the clinical name given to those who get turned on by feet.
It is not unusual for men who have this liking to want to touch, smell or in some way interact with footwear. This means those sandals you bought a few weeks ago at Macy’s are fair game!
5. The whole things disgusts me – what should I do?
Most people who find out their boyfriend or husband has a foot fetish learn to accept the dynamic for what it is – an element of sexuality. There are some folks, however, who really can’t deal with this because it just makes them too uncomfortable. If this is the case for you, it might be helpful to sit down with your man and talk about boundaries. In fact, not talking about these kinds of issues can lead to problems down the road and is one of the top 10 reasons for couples therapy.
Some couples find that by working with a therapist, they are better able to figure out how to integrate this area of intimacy into the relationship. Counseling also helps with increasing understanding around intimate expression – which in turn helps to generate insight.
Summing Things Up
If your boyfriend recently shared with you that he is really into your feet, consider it his way of letting you know that he trusts you. Avoid trying to judge your man or doing anything that might make him regret disclosing this information (i.e. don’t laugh at him when the topic comes up).
fWe would like to recommend a book to you that explores many topics related to intimacy, authored by the famous Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Just click on the cover above to transport yourself to Amazon’s bookstore. What’s great about this book is that the author explores issues in a way that are easy to understand. Not only does the topic of feet come up in this read but so do plenty of other topics that you may be curious about – but too afraid to ask.
For fun, we have included a poll below for you to vote in. Remember, the results are not scientific and should be thought of as an expression of website visitors feelings.
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