By: Alan Tsang, LPC, NCC
Are you sometimes wondering if your relationship is worse than anyone else’s in Chicago? Do you wonder whether you and your partner can make the relationship work?
Do you find yourself struggling to communicate with your partner effectively, or struggling to feel acknowledged by your partner?
Truth is, you aren’t alone. Many couples seek our counseling services because their relationship problems may have begun to interfere with their everyday lives, or if they are going through a change within the relationship.
Being in a relationship can be one of the greatest things we as people can experience. At Couples Counseling, we also understand that there are times when things can get a bit rocky.
Whether it’s because the communication becomes lacking, a person’s values are different from their partner, unhealthy behaviors, or even the little things that might start bugging us, I understand that you might want support and insight on where your relationship is headed.
In all honesty, there can be a lot of things that can affect relationships. Living in a huge city like Chicago with all of its hustling and bustling can put strain on the relationship’s growth too!
So here’s 5 ways a therapist can help with your relationship:
1) You communicate better
Communication is key in a healthy relationship. And it can get harder to communicate what we want in a relationship after the emotions and hormones help express your affections for your partner and how your lives will be together.
After a while, it feels like that communication simmers down and disagreements on the same topics rise up.
The first way a therapist can help with your relationship is by teaching you and your partner how to communicate in a more open and honest way so that your partner can hear you.
2) You can understand each other more clearly
Being able to understand what your partner is saying and feeling is so important in a healthy relationship! Having a therapist help you see where your partner is coming from when they are expressing what they feel can also help you recognize what you’re feeling when your partner is talking to you.
The therapist can help you understand each other more clearly by helping you imagining yourself in each other’s perspective, feeling what they feel in a safe environment.
3) Learn skills to work with each other
Truth is, just because we understand what our partner is talking about or feeling, doesn’t mean we automatically know what to do with our own thoughts about what’s being talked about!
A therapist can teach you and your partner specific skills to practice in session and ultimately practice at home too. Yes, it takes practice, but there is value in hearing each other out gently and acknowledging how the other side feels too.
4) The therapist does not take sides
Being told that one side is more correct than the other can hurt, and we understand that. Working with a therapist to build your relationship ultimately means that the therapist will never take anyone’s side.
In a nutshell, the therapist’s role give insight based on key observations in session. And more often than not, some will challenge you to repeat what your partner is truly saying, so that you can better hear each other out.
It’s easy to go to someone you know for relationship advise. But hearing insight from someone with an unbiased opinion can be so impactful when we reflect on where we want our relationships to go.
5) Challenging individual values & opinions
So let’s imagine you and your partner are having communication issues or something that you did isn’t sitting well with your partner. But in your opinion, this situation is normal.
It is okay to have different opinions and values in a relationship. After all, we’re all our own person!
What our therapists can do is help you understand where those values and opinions come from and help you reflect on how they affect your relationship. Whether it’s cultural or family values, being able to hear how they affect your relationship can help it grow and develop.
So if you are in the Windy City and seeking guidance or insight for your relationship, or to help you navigate where everything is headed, we can help you with that! Whether it’s couples counseling, marriage, or premarital, don’t hesitate to give us a call at 773.598.7797 or send us a confidential note via our contact form.
